Prompt: Reflect on a time when you had to rely on someone else. How did it feel?

 One time I had to rely on someone else was during brass quintet at our school. I'm the leader/ organizer of the LHS brass quintet (a small ensemble made of 2 trumpets, a horn, trombone, and tuba). For the Christmas concert, we wanted to do a 30 minute prelude in the lobby before the concert started. Some of the pieces we did included Do you hear what I hear, Sussex Carol, I saw three ships, Once in Royal David's city, and a few others. I had to rely on other people to learn their parts so that we could sound good. I had known my parts for this gig WEEKS in advance, so it was frustrating relying on everyone to catch up when some of them don't want to as much as I do. I was sitting there thinking "remember that time ya said you were gonna practice the music over the weekened?? Why does it still not sound good??? did you practice at all?" but see I can't say that out loud because that's too mean so it just is a cycle of frustration. Right now, I'm trying to put together another program for the spring stuff that's rapidly approaching, and some of the members don't seem to be worried. It's the worst thing ever man. 

Today I read chapter 2 from Wild by Cheryl Strayed.

Today I learned that Cheryl is one of the most insufferable evil protagonists ever, end of story. I hate her with a burning passion so far. She is reckless, irresponsible, unfaithful, a liar, and avoids accountability. I understand that her mom died and that was really difficult on her, but she literally cheated on a man who did nothing but help her and tried to claim moral high ground for not "crossing the line of having sex" like are you insane??? You literally are kissing other men (and eventually having intercourse) with other men and you blame just about everything on this green planet earth but yourself. Have some dad gum ACCOUNTABILITY. Unless she makes a SERIOUS turnaround on her hike, I'm just going to hate her for the entire book. It's a classic example of a villain protagonist. She blames her bad choices on grief and other people instead of doing things rationally. I understand that having a parent die is really difficult and that grief is a complicated process, but years after it happened, you have to take responsibility. Every time she does something absolutely stupid, she says oh dog gone it its the grief again like its COVID-19 or something. I mean come on. Paul is doing his best to support her, and she spits in his face because "he doesn't know the struggle" yeah that's a valid reason to go make out with other men and have intercourse with people while pretending to like him. If I was with her and she said some BS like "oh I want to be with you but also not" I'd be like oh okay get out of the house and go be with someone else because there's ain't no way I'm putting up with this. I honestly don't think Paul expected her to return from the trip alive. I wouldn't either. The whole sequence where she was like "oh it'd be so easy to go get with a man right now" pissed me all the way off. Not because she's wrong that it would be easy because it probably would, but I guarantee she'd sit there and be like oh man the dad gum grief got to me yet again poor poor poor me let me go hiking 1,100 miles like shut that sh*t up PLEASE. Lord have mercy. I hope you enjoyed this tirade about why Cheryl SUCKS as a person (so far) and if it doesn't change, I'm gonna be hating her the entire way. Not that the book has been bad so far, it's been good actually, I just hate Cheryl. Now, she's getting all this notoriety for showing a clear lack of accountability and inability to show respect??? Get up outta here with that. She's not honest and she never could be. Okay I'm done for real now.